Sunday, September 19, 2004

A modest proposal

Since most of the problems in our country are currently being caused by the radical evangelicals, here is a modest proposal to take back the US from these fascists:

Given that (a) they don’t really accept the constitution (they deny the separation of church and state), (b) they deny the freedom of religion to others (their uniting ideology is proselytizing) © that there is no arguing with them (the only evidence on any issue that they will accept is true is that from the Bible (recall that Pat Robertson denies global warming, the promotion of ‘creation science’ is one of their hallmarks, and they believe Bush is an honest man - all in the face of overwhelming evidence to the contrary)), and (d) most of them come from Texas, I propose the following solution:

Cede Texas to Bush as a Christian homeland.

Texans have never really believed that they were a part of the Union anyway, so it’s a perfect solution! Of course, we’d have to give most of Southern Texas to Mexico, in order to protect the native (predominately Catholic) Spanish-speaking population from the harassment that is inevitable when living with people who believe that you follow the anti-Christ.

Note also that Texas takes much more from the Government’s coffers than they add and that we don’t really need their oil - after all, the main reason why we are so oil-dependent is because the oil companies block investment in alternative energies. Get rid of their influence, and we get rid of the major obstacle to energy independence. I’m also sure that Saudi Arabia and the rest of OPEC will be so thrilled that we’ve ‘contained’ Bush that they’ll give us a sweet-heart deal for a while.

Of course, we have to expect some difficulties during the period of partition - all those people moving from Grand Rapids to Waco will no doubt cause hardship. But if we buckle down and really commit to making this world a better place, we too can finally live in a democracy!

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